In four days I have conquered the first Metroid Prime. I remember not liking the second as much, but I'm eager for the third, so I shall strive. Another year of schoolins is comin' up, and I need to get my instruments fixed. Still have to practice my scales, so hopefully I can go tomorrow to Best Music Repair. It's weird being sort of halfway through practicing many things. I know what it will sound like when I am able to play everything at 100%, so it's easier to slow down. It's fine though. Life tends to be pretty beatific if you let it, you just have to run through the cycles. Oh dear. He's about to say "Clever girl" in Jurassic Park. Best line. How exciting. I bought two of those black fuzzy posters that you color in for my room next year. I only hope that when I finish coloring them they will look the most ridiculous. Fingers crossed. I have what I want right now. Why can't I dream like Joanne. Or have dreams like hers anyway. Curses. I hope I sleep until two again tomorrow. It is too hot during the day.
Reading The German Ideology by Marx and some other philosopher. It's linear, and I project will be easier to comprehend than it's brother in the class, whatever that book was by Kant (the dense bastard). Drinking a Pepsi thinking about how last week I decided to detox before kubla con (which, damnit, isn't here yet). I can recall laughing about it in the way when I play (this game where you start with something about yourself that you are satisfied with and try to change it utterly and permanently over time, preferably two weeks, at longest a month and a half. The idea is that you can convince your brain to do anything, and you have power over yourself. woah) but don't set up the game first. I wasn't into it. It didn't happen. Detoxing contradicts my most important mantra of only doing things that make you happy. You'd be surprised how easy this is. Once you see how the world works, and you figure out how you can fit into it, it becomes easy to see and fit in to only the coolest parts. Don't read the above. It was silly. Anyway, Kubla con is coming up! Still. I have to bust through one more day. Oh crap I'ma be excited when it is. When StarCraft was new and hip, Battle.net especially, I was pretty young and new to the online gaming scene. Part of the online gaming scene is the chat function with your team mates and foes etc. One fun fact is I learned to type through StarCraft. I remember fondly telling my mom that better than any typing program, StarCraft forces you to type fast and accurately (it would be a stretch, but I took pride in spelling... at the time) with the threat of this GAME at steak (delightful) (I was a dorky kid). With teamtyping comes acronyms, and when you're new to the hip game scene, you learn quickly to not ask what they mean or get b00ted (n00b, cuntf4gg0t, 4u57r4l14n [I tried to type australian in 1337]). gg, hf, dd, gl. Those are easy enough. brb though. It also seemed easy. What happened after they typed 'brb'? They left, returning a short time later. They were right back. After a moment's thought (while aquiring more vespene gas) I concluded that it stood for 'bathroom break'. That's what I was leaving the game for for short moments. When AIM got introduced to me (and I woefully chose my woeful non-spaceyeti moniker that I stuck with til only recently. A moniker that I need to spread to this xanga somehow). When AIM got introduced to me, I would use brb the same way, and so would others, and I'd assume they were using the restroom. I don't recall WHEN I figured out otherwise, but I still use brb mostly for bathroom break. Sometimes (and this xanga not being called SpaceYeti is really starting to bother me) I'll say 'literally' afterwords, which I take to mean (and I am writing it) that for reals, I'm using the facilities. Anyway, this post has two dedications. Shannon's blog is beautiful, so I did a blog in her blog's beautiful honor. Second, Sophia once made a comment about how a post of mine was. I forget the words she used. I hope it was like this one.
Abigail has gone from working but being sad to not working whatsoever to now working once in a while. I'm down with it. She's a pretty girl. I saw my best xanga friend Allie the other day at a concert. It was like magic. Thinking about it, I didn't think about how much she reminded me of band camp or anything like that, I just thought about how much I liked her and how pleasant it was to see a friend that I hadn't in awhile. Really nice. Wrote a killer essay today. It's not that great, I imagine, but it was an interesting exercise in how I think and work, because where I usually let the ideas flow and don't stop or plan, for this paper I thought quite a bit about it, at least for my own standards. It will be interesting to see how others interpret it. This week is going to be pretty hectic. Coupled with a recital to watch, a concert to rehearse, a concert to play, an ensemble to get coached, that same ensemble to get coached twice more, scheduling those second two coachings, class, reading for the one class, actually having to pay attention in the easy class, writing a mini-paper for the third class, obligatory practice and work, and the bomb weekend coming up, it was a mistake to start this sentence with 'coupling'. Kubla Con though. The most excellent time of the year. My favorite friends, my favorite activity, being able to have completely unfiltered access to pretty much everything that is wonderful. Must play Battlelore. Must win something. Must buy Feng Shui. Must do well in some highlander format of MtG.
Practicing makes me better, but spending long chunks of time going from Bb to C# over and over in every combinaiton fills me with rage.
There are so many rules to learn. Eventually though, I will know all of them.
Her name, Abigail. I had fallen in love, a girl so beautiful, her songs so sweet. Our bond was not healthy, nor was she. Frequently falling, her weaknesses were heart wrenching for me, and I held her in my arms all I could. Eventually, all the worry made me sick with grief, and our love deteriorated into abuse, physical and verbal. She began to forget things, and eventually went into a lapse. Things changed. I realized the pain I caused her and worked feverishly to bring her back. After consulting the highest of authorities, I was able to bring minds together to bring her out of her dark coma, but she, too, was different. Now she was so eager to please and so dumbfounded when she did not. She spend hours guessing all the things in the world that would make us happy again, with me slouching, weeping, "No..." I was not strong enough, and we grew distant, until... Until she began to fail again. Her heart had grown weak from abandonment and abuse, and she could barely keep awake. I stroked her, embraced her, coaxed her back to the light of the world at every turn. No use. No use.
Fully collapsing, she caved today. Total crumbling of her mind. Emerging from the other side, blinking innocently, was my Abigail. She offered me her hand, and, fighting back the tears, I smiled and took it. She had no idea the ways of the world, and was a little girl again.
I wonder if she can feel my heart in the palm of her hand?
